Lead Me to the Cross

Savior I come, quiet my soul,
remember.
Redemption's Hill,
where your blood was spilled, for my ransom.
Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss.

Lead me to the cross where your loved poured out,
bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down,
rid me of myself, I belong to You.
O lead me,
Lead me to the cross.

You were as I, tempted and tried,
Human.
The word became flesh, bore my sin in death,
now You're risen.
Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss.

Lead me to the cross where your loved poured out,
bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down,
rid me of myself, I belong to You.
O lead me,
Lead me to the cross.

To Your heart,
to Your heart,
lead me to Your heart,
lead me to Your heart.

A word to the unwise...

You might have gained closure for yourself but you just made things 10 times harder for me.

Thank you, oh so much.

To sum it up:

I hate boys.

End of story.

As night falls...

Wow.
That is all that I can say to express tonights experience. My dad, mom, Lucy (puppy), and I decided to take a quick spin on the jet ski tonight and it had to be one of the most beautiful moments of my life. Just me, on a jet ski, watching the sun set out in the middle of the lake. Beautiful. I felt so free and so...alive. Nothing is more perfect than a beautiful sunset on the lake. Watching the sky turn three different shades of pink and red, all of which is reflecting beautifully across the glass-smooth water. It's perfect! I did NOT want to leave. I love the sudden moments in life when God unexpectedly reminds you of His beauty. I wish I could just live in that moment for the rest of my life. God is so amazing! We are so blessed to experience these beautiful creations He has given us. I love it!

Beautiful

This is how I want to be loved...
This is how I am loved.

Beautiful
by: Bethany Dillon
I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed.
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You stepped inside my heart,
and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love
and beautiful.

Acceptance?

Finally...
Forgiveness for myself and feeling worthy of true love?
Not so much...

Grief

My college pastor told me there is four stages to grief: denial, hate/anger, acceptance, and rebuilding. I am definitely at the hate stage right now. Lord I pray it passes quickly.